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How to talk to the adopted child about sexuality

How to talk to the adopted child about sexuality


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Talking about sex with a child is always a difficult subject for parents. When you find yourself in the need to face sexuality with your child, whether he is adopted or not, being natural and calling things by his name is always the best way, but always taking into account the child's age and his ability to understand , that is, adapting the information to what he can understand.

In the case of a child who has already been adopted a little older, it is important that, whether you know or try to find out, the role that sex has had in that part of their history in which you were not: how sexuality was seen in his culture, family, if he has suffered abuse ... and the meaning he gives to those behaviors so that we can understand them and redirect them towards the meaning they have for us.

You will also know that sexuality and feelings are linked and, taking into account that an adopted child tends to have conflicts in terms of attachment and emotional ties, it is likely that they do not know very well how to handle the feelings and sensations generated by the people they like or the ones you want. Teach him patiently and lovingly to define how he should act with the people around him.

You should not forget that talking about sex with an adopted child, from certain moments, will be inevitably linked to the statement of its origins: Was I in your tummy or in that of another mother? Why didn't they want to stay with me when I was born? Did my parents love each other when they conceived me? Was I a desired baby? ... The important thing that you go asking yourself, how are you doing? To treat the subject so that it does not catch you unexpectedly and you can give a response that is respectful to those origins and does not increase feelings of anger or disdain. Teaching him to be tolerant and non-judgmental is going to be the best way to help him properly handle all unresolved issues.

1. Choose moments of intimacy, in which you are alone, to promote conversation.

2. Take advantage of everyday situations (a couple that gives a passionate kiss, a cousin who is going to be born ...) to ask him what he thinks about it or if he has any questions.

3. Don't shy away from talking about it or not answering your questions. If the child sees that it is difficult for you or that you are not comfortable, he will think that there is something wrong.

4. Adapt the language and the contents at their level of understanding but always speaking sincerely.

5. Insists that they are sensitive issues, that they should be treated with respect and that they should not be spoken in public or with everyone.

You can read more articles similar to How to talk to the adopted child about sexuality, in the On-site Adoption category.


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