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The arrival of a rainbow baby It generates a lot of emotions in the pregnant woman. The fear and uncertainty with which the gestation period is lived, joins the joy at the new birth, but also the feeling of guilt for not having the previous child with you by your side. This is the story and testimony of a pregnant woman with a rainbow baby with which you will feel identified.
"I have always led a fairly trauma-free life, and I cannot complain. In my family they are all alive and healthy and, although I have participated in several" personal wars ", like any other person or mother, things generally have gone well ... until last year!
In January 2018, it was pregnant with twins, something that I think not all women want to hear, twins, two at once! I was already a mother of two, but, after campaigning with my husband for almost a year to have a third child (this sounds like you for sure), she finally relented. The joy was twofold, although this could mean the odd change in logistics.
But the joy soon turned to sadness: the twins' hearts stopped at week 14, just as the second trimester of pregnancy. There was no warning or sign that something had gone wrong. They just left and disappeared from my life.
The consequences were devastating, both physically and emotionally. Because my pregnancy was already advanced, I needed to undergo a process known as dilation and evacuation (D&E), which would dilate my cervix and essentially suction everything while I was under general anesthesia. A horror that no parent should go through!
The surgery was supposed to be pretty quick, but I was in the operating room for an hour and lost a lot of blood. After the operation, she was too weak to walk alone and did not seem to recover. I remember one day, when it seemed that it was starting to get better, my husband whispered in my ear, "I thought we were going to lose you too."
I finally recovered physically, but struggled emotionally for months. In the beginning, I would cry several times a day, I got my tears to only appear once a day but it was difficult. He was thinking about what he had lost. It was clear that I was not going to be able to overcome this trance alone, so I voluntarily decided to go to therapy. I was looking for a magic potion that will free me from that tension and those emotions and, only with the passage of time, I realized that there is no such medicine.
Six months later, my husband and I discovered that we were pregnant with rainbow baby. I got the news that I was pregnant with a rainbow babywith great emotion, but without avoiding thinking that history could repeat itself.
He rainbow baby comes into the life of a woman to add a little color to the sadness caused by having lost a previous baby, either during pregnancy, at the time of childbirth and even after having arrived in this world.
It is a complicated situation for any pregnant woman, therefore, testimonies like that of our protagonist are necessary to make these painful feelings more bearable. And, perhaps, so that the black color that has been put without wanting it in the life of this woman does not mark her life, the word rainbow has been chosen to define this type of little one that comes into the life of any mother; And it is that after the storm, there is always a moment of clarity, light, positivity and, why not, of waiting for the rainbow to come out.
Without a doubt, a very difficult time to face, although more common than we think, which sometimes requires the help of a mental health professional to cope, move on and not anchor in the pain of loss.
Now this woman who is approaching the anniversary of the loss of your rainbow baby And that is causing her some strange and uncomfortable feelings, because she is aware that she would never have had that baby if the twins had survived. What a contradiction!
She is still mourning the babies she lost, and she probably always will, but I'm incredibly grateful and excited for the baby she's waiting for, but she can't help but feel guilty, like she's turning her back on the twins to welcome her sister. .
What do the experts say about it? What are the recommended steps to get over the loss of a rainbow baby? Here are some tips that can help you if you are also in the situation of giving birth to a rainbow baby:
- Conflicting feelings are very common and it is something that happens to many women, so you should not feel bad about it.
- Do not forget that this past situation and the new one that is being lived has not been chosen by you and that nothing could have been done to avoid it.
- Also remember that be pregnant Again, the grieving process does not conclude, indeed, many women continue with their process for many years; although it is true that this new rainbow baby could ignite a new process of hope in women.
- Stop thinking and, above all, to choose one pregnancy over the other.
- To get rid of that emotion and give space to joy at the new pregnancy, it is worth remembering the anniversary of the loss in some way: read a poem, write a letter or even simply reflect on this circumstance.
- And finally, eliminate any kind of pressure on the new pregnancy, because there is no perfect one (nor will there be). Get excited about the new gestation process and live it day by day, but also accept those moments of sadness for what could not have been.
You can read more articles similar to The hopeful testimony of a woman pregnant with a rainbow baby, in the category of Getting pregnant on site.